@ReeseButCallMeV: What phone etiquette?! You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.
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@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.
@theBigMvee: Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance
@iGreenMonk: My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.