@DaddyJew: What the hell do you mean Buzzfeed isn't a reliable news source, it knew exactly what kind of pancake I'd be
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@sarcasticmommy4: A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, "I need to make your dentist appointment."
@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.
@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!