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@Eric_Nikiforov: What will it take to reunite Nirvana?
Two more bullets.
@BootsORiley: Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad.
@d_duhwit: Me: I treat my body like a temple.
*leaves body in the Mexican jungle for 500 years*
@missokistic: Ayn Rand, Rand Paul and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.
@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
(whispering) Barack. Psst, Barack. Barack, turn around.
Joe, I'm a little busy.
I love you.