@neiltyson: What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight
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@ryaninco: There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while.
@EndhooS: Me: [Eating pizza for breakfast] Gym nerd: [pouring 8 flourescent powders into a gym bottle] I dunno how u can put that shit into your body
@CodyJP9412: HER: What're you most afraid of? ME: *thinking of how terrible it would be if my dog laid eggs that hatched into cats* Losing you, babe.