@jwoodham: What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.
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@kelkulus: We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy.
@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears
@hazelmotes1: Me: when I grow up I'm going to be an astronaut. 5 year old daughter: you're already grown up. You'll be dead soon.
@theevilwriter: When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption.