@TuffyNyC: What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts? I don't even wanna talk to the living.
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@sixfootcandy: Sorry I sprayed bug spray in your face. Those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.
@_Kim_Jongun: Someone in South Korea accused North Korea of having assassination squads. That's a lie. On an unrelated note, I need that guy's address.
@simoncholland: Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
@AnkCoupleTO: Looks like the concierge is hitting on my wife again but who cares, this cherry danish I'm eating right now is on point nom nom nom!