@TuffyNyC: What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts? I don't even wanna talk to the living.
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@jamespianka: My phone dies, freeing me from my prison. I look up at the world. Deer live in my house.
@Tmoney68: I think I'm finally becoming more mature. Now when I watch Spongebob I usually agree with Squidward.
@stoneman67: I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, "your baby jumped out!" before she gave me the finger.
@ericsshadow: My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.