@truegritrumble: I've been kicked out of my gym for dressing like the grim reaper and standing silently behind people on treadmills.

@jacquiewalters: "What should we name them?" Grapes "And what about these?" Grapefruits "I see. So one is a larger version of another?" Not at all "Perfect"

@Book_Krazy: Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:...

@TheCareBare: she's all "don't sleep in the nude- what if there's a fire and the fire men come and see you naked" uh you pretty much described my fantasy

@SamTR7: I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce.