@topaz_kell: I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down.

@david8hughes: "Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn't going to fly." "Dude, that's a bike with a blanket on it." "My best efforts."

@gvicks: Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes......

@Book_Krazy: *Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa* You crazy? Security will hear us Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE? NOTHING Security: ALRIGHT

@FudgeRobot: My family crest is just a picture of my grandfather dressed up as a giant hotdog being dragged into a cave by a bear.