@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
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@ValeeGrrl: At cardio class tonight, a 22yo size 0 told me "you run fast for someone your age" so now I have a body to bury if anyone wants to help me.
@DraggingFeeties: Stop putting cauliflower where there once was something delicious.
@STATEofCONFUZUN: You're the Thelma to my Louise. The Ben to my Jerry. The Kanye to my Kanye.
@Overdue_Bills: "Dude, this is so awesome, I can use my $300 smart phone as a flashlight". - Why we'll be speaking Chinese in 50 years.
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