@SoulYodeler: You don't know awkward and uneasy until you've seen the way I hold a cat.

@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.

@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.

@Iwriteforcats: I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.

@dance_blessed: Do one person every day that scares you.