@i_Lean: When a duck takes a selfie, it makes a lonely white girl face.
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@DirtMcTurd: My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
@TheWeirdWorld: What if dogs are way smarter than we think and they just play dumb so they don’t have to work and pay taxes.
@lovemyboots111: "One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you...." under a moving bus