@Nickadoo: When a friend dies, I'm not sure if I should unfriend them on Facebook or occasionally "poke" them to see if they're still dead.
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@UncleDuke1969: Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying "LOL" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)
@metafroth: If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.
@MisterBombay: I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.