@paperphotoyo: When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess.
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@TheToddWilliams: Earth: Goodnight Moon Moon: … Earth: I said ‘Goodnight Moon’ Moon: … Earth: Look, I don’t choose which days they celebrate Moon: Whatever
@OfficialMizGin: Want to know the real reason girls go to the bathroom together? The air hockey table. All our bathrooms have one.
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.