@paperphotoyo: When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess.
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@HiddleDeeDee: 7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie.
@slaughthie: I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.