@ElgatoEsmio: When a squirrel runs on the road then turns around quickly is it because he thinks he left his little squirrel iron on?
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@samuelhlowe: -Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn.
@bossy_boots99: I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom
@Amburglar_: Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST.
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*