@hot_coughy: When a woman says "I can't even tell you how upset I am right now" just wait 3 seconds.
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@tastefactory: I don't get Roomba commercials. Like who spills an entire box of cereal on the floor and is like eh leave it for the robot to clean up
@IRLPepperMD: "You think I'm immature? Well, you know what! Our relationship is-" *holds up imaginary walky-talky* "Chhh-over."
@moose_chocolate: If by "fetching" you mean "looks like I was dragged from the woods by a dog" then yes I look fetching.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?