@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".
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@KattWillliams: Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month.
@shariv67: The only French I know are words for food items and the chorus of Lady Marmelade. Turns out that's all you really need.
@ThingsJackDigs: Baptisms were invented by a guy who had to explain why he was caught trying to drown a baby.