@Parentpains: When all else fails burn shit, people will forget how much of a failure you are when they see stuff on fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MeatyPunk: "FOR [sound of robot-computer meltdown/Buckethead noise] PRESS 1 FOR [feint but audible screams of someone being chased in woods] PRESS 2"
@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.
@ojedge: [job interview] Interviewer: "Describe yourself in 2 words." Me: "Atinubs. Econsibu." Interviewer: "You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."
@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.