@iheartgunts: When an unattractive woman in a bar asks me my sign I tell her "Stop."
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@jannable9: Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate.
@novicefather: One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell.
@TheNameIsBillyB: After reading about Rihanna's thug life tattoo, I think we all owe Chris Brown an apology.
@cigarin: I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.