@Xalqee: When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@patnspankme: People who have to keep a phone charger in the bathroom; have you heard of shredded wheat and raisin bran?
@flashember: ME: Where are the posters? WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! [In other room] *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
@PaperWash: [grocery store] dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying [baby keeps crying] me: wow, your baby does not listen