@Asbo_Unicorn: When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.
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@EndhooS: My wife says brushing my teeth when sitting on the toilet is disgusting but honestly this toilet brush is almost brand new
@coketruck76: *Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle.
@Quartzjixler: Her: Is breakfast almost ready? Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage. Her: Can't we please wait till after breakfast for that?
@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.