@Asbo_Unicorn: When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.
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@SaraMansford: Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting.
@Wine_Honey1: People tell you to make yourself at home but then look confused when you drink their liquor and take a nap in the kitchen
@RobWeb79: Work said I was going to do a drug test today. So far I haven't tested any drugs, but this weird guy asked me to urinate in a cup.