@DBMaxP: When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question
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@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not.
@PJTLynch: "Can I go play w/ my Twitter friends?" Wife: "Are the kids in bed & the dishwasher emptied?" "...Yes" *wife opens cabinet, kids fall out*