@DBMaxP: When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question
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@lanyardigan: Most of us get into advertising for the money. Me? I've just always had a passion for making people feel bad
@Dr_awfulpants: [at ATM] Would I like to check my balance? Okay sure. *presses button* *robot leg shoots out and sweeps mine* 'Your balance is: awful'
@NikiWithIssues: Dad: Let's talk, we never talk. Me: Okay. I kinda wanna tell you something... Dad: You can tell me anything. Me: I'm Batman. Dad: Get out.
@NurseMurderer: Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years.