@mrtruthandsoul: When Catwoman gets older, does she become Cougarwoman?
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@FunnyTunes: If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can't attract the desired boy. Then that means the boy has iron deficiency.
@trevorthehuman: Turns out "pick the biggest one & punch him in the face" gets you more respect as a new prisoner than as a new 1st grade substitute teacher.
@ceejoyner: 75% of a Scandinavian park ranger's job is rescuing black metal bands that get lost in the woods shooting album covers.
@dave_cactus: [at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted...