@mrtruthandsoul: When Catwoman gets older, does she become Cougarwoman?
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@SCbchbum: The awkward moment when you say, "I love you," then the pizza delivery guy says, "That'll be $12.46, please."
@TodaysResume: Include a snapshot of Doge the dog with your #resume. When asked about it during the interview, reply "What do you meme?"
@lovemydogduck: Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup
@WheelTod: *Calling from the bakery Me: "Honey, can I get you something: a muffin, eclair, a cupcake?" Her: "Surprise me!" Me: "I think I'm gay"