@TheTweetOfGod: When CNN says they're "breaking news" they are, in a sense, right.
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@Lexactly: Dentistry is the perfect profession for people who like to talk but don't want a response
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from "The Sleeping Disease"
@behindyourback: 11:30pm is the time each night when I ask myself the ancient question of the universe: what if I just ate everything
@Cpt_Burnout: Guy: "Do you have a lighter?" Me: "Yep" Guy: "You smoke?" Me: "No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."