@KentTheG: When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"
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@nerdreign: Preparing a work evaluation for someone who adds shit to my day on a regular. Wondering if "inbred whackadoodle" paints a full picture.
@sarcasticmommy4: My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out. Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.
@AdmiralAkbrown: I get so fustrated when people say "supposably" or "irregardless" I feel like I'm literally drownding
@leshnevsky: If the chameleons did their work better, we would not know about the existence of chameleons.