@NotthatAdamWest: When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy.
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@runolgarun: "Sorry, I fail to see how I 'misled' you when my profile CLEARLY says I'm 'a total cat person'?" - half-cat/half-person being after bad date
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Are you still wearing pajamas? Go change. 4yo: *Goes upstairs *Comes down wearing different pair of pajamas
@OBiiieeee: Yo son, do you like nachos? "Hell yeah!" *son goes in for high 5* That's good, 'cause I'm nacho real dad *rejects high 5* You're adopted lol
@dafloydsta: Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.