@NotthatAdamWest: When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy.
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@SteveSuckington: [apocalypse] Day 5: sickness is spreading rapidly Day 34: the streets are filled w death. There's no joy left in the world Day 69: LOL 69
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.
@Pundamentalism: "I'd like a bowl of soup please." "Any sides?" "I hope so, or it'll go EVERYWHERE."