@NotthatAdamWest: When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy.
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@juliussharpe: At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt.
@Green_EyedMama: Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker
@NotARatsAss: My father could have the original copy of the Declaration of Independence on the counter, and still make a meatball sandwich over top of it.
@welfarehoe: CW: What'd you have for breakfast? Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios? Me: No.