@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: my greatest strength is giving people clever nicknames. QUESTION ASKER MAN: and how is this a skill that will help you here?
@Brampersandon_: [Me]: *slams fork & knife down on table* Not cool, babe. [Wife]: You didn't honestly think there'd be weed in your pot pie, did you?
@PaperWash: Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can't use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
@ella__fraser: Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success