@weinerdog4life: When God invented snakes he was like do you want legs or do you want to look like a scary belt, too late scary belt
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@J0hnnyBlaze: How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now
@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@dafloydsta: HER: I'm leaving you ME: But why? HER: There's just no chemistry between us anymore CHEMISTRY: Wow, I'm like right here