@weinerdog4life: When God invented snakes he was like do you want legs or do you want to look like a scary belt, too late scary belt
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@literally_is_me: All I'm saying is Sesame Street would be a lot more entertaining if Big Bird were a velociraptor.
@audipenny: I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him
@Crutnacker: Biden: Told Trump about Carter's ghost in the West Wing Obama: Carter is still alive Biden: He doesn't know that
@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.