@weinerdog4life: When God invented snakes he was like do you want legs or do you want to look like a scary belt, too late scary belt
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@bridger_w: Amazing how a fight can break out at the grocery store over something as simple as knocking over someone's cart and demanding they fight you
@Dawn_M_: My therapist doesn't believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.