@VodkaThursday: When her friend visits, my 2yr old just wants to hug her a lot... & keep her away from the toys. I feel that way about my friends & my vodka
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@MrGeorgeWallace: I'm just sayin', corn dogs are gonna have to pick a side when the shit goes down between corn and dogs.
@Phook75: It's bad enough I have to worry about people when I leave my house now I have to contend with Pokemon as well
@ShutUpThatsWho: [CPR dummy coming home from work] WIFE: is that lipstick on your face? who’s been *does the air quotes gesture* ‘resuscitating’ you today huh? DUMMY: for the last time Carol it’s my job
@junejuly12: Can't wait to watch the complex manoeuvres that will follow taking the first bite of a corn dog in the middle.