@VodkaThursday: When her friend visits, my 2yr old just wants to hug her a lot... & keep her away from the toys. I feel that way about my friends & my vodka
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@Jazzzzzmina: Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree.
@TraitorousFinn: *Kylo Ren pranks calls Finn* Hey Finn I bet you shop at *dramatic pause* Traitor Joes!!! *High fives Hux*
@t_cuppp: Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results.