@XplodingUnicorn: When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
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@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.
@SamuelHLowe: Aliens must know that we're an easily conquerable race if they've ever seen us try to cancel a printer job.
@trevso_electric: Remember: tomorrow is TOPLESS TUESDAY no matter what human resources tells you.
@lazerdoov: Gramma gramma gramma gramma gramma chameleon she's old and cold she's old and coooooold