@peteholmes: "When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'" - teacher to class full of Gods
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@freshestginger: If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?
@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.
@minafisheyes: Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up.