@peteholmes: "When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'" - teacher to class full of Gods
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@SardonicTart: [Job Interview] How would you describe your time management skills? Me: Can we talk about this later? I'm late for an appointment.
@the_rock_chic: Just walking down the "Gluten Free" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts.
@Shanehasabeard: Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving