@LoveNLunchmeat: When I die, just throw the laundry in my grave with me. I want to die exactly as I lived.
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@tastefactory: LOVED ONES: When I die, I want you to throw a sad party where you all look at my dead body US, FOR SOME REASON: Ok that's no problem
@jake_likes_naps: [in hospital] son: what happened dad me: bar fight son: over what? me: he said... *clenches fists* he said Zelda is a boy
@Boleyngirly: Turns out I can hold my breath with a pillow over my face way longer than an old person. Innocent mistake..