@Chumpstring: When I found out Carl was a beekeeper I stopped loaning him bees.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, "I already TOLD you. You never listen." We have no idea if you're lying.
@SteveKoehler22: Damn you, Autocorrect ! Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ? You are the banner of my existence.
@Terry_maximo: [funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* "Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails." *folds notes* *sits back down*
@DiscoFruit: me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what