@Brianhopecomedy: When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, "Sarah Connor?".
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@daryl_licked: Indian Chief: What that bottle of vodka for? Me: I got it for my girlfriend. Indian Chief: Good trade.
@tarashoe: oh i'd definitely choose flight over invisibility. i'd fly everywhere! to the living room, the bedroom. back to the living room. everywhere
@jsteele3966: So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.