@Brianhopecomedy: When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, "Sarah Connor?".
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@sarcasticmommy4: We've reached that part of the day where my kids ask what's for dinner & then tell me they don't want that for dinner.
@Reverend_Scott: WAITER: Can I take your order? CUSTOMER: I don't know, can you? WAITER: ...Dad? CUSTOMER: ...son? [they embrace, finally reunited] DAD: But seriously, say 'May I take your order', you're embarrassing yourself