@CherylCheryl94: When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
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@JH_Moncrieff: "I don't understand...we're a grocery store. Do we really need an editor on staff?" Yes. Yes, you do.
@TheCatWhisprer: The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
@drewtoothpaste: Get a big metal box, label it "TIME CAPSULE" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like.
@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.