@FattMernandez: When I go to Burger King, I like to get a Whopper and a Whopper jr. then make the Whopper watch as I eat the Whopper jr.
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@tastefactory: GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good.
@totalwackjob: My sex life has improved so much I'm thinking of asking someone else to join me...
@GoldenSpirals: Coworker sneezed, and said "Oh my. I don't know where that came from." I'm no Scientist, but I'm pretty sure it came from her nose.