@JaneBadall: When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
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@JoParkerBear: America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education.
@HiddleDeeDee: Just cleaned out my desk. Bad news: I apparently have 1,453 Sharpies and none of them are sharp. Good news: I found the plane!
@Merman_Melville: (Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT