@Swishergirl24: When I hear teenagers talk I wonder why there's not a high school class dedicated to learning the definition of the word "literally"
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@daemonic3: "Dad, can I go to the renaissance festival?" ME: No, you're still grounded "No fair!" ME: Yes, that's what I said
@SuperDuperDook: The last 60+ Miss Universe pageant winners have been from earth I don't know man, seems fixed.
@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.