@bourgeoisalien: when I hit 45 I'm going to start sleeping in a coffin. let's be honest, my lifestyle choices have been questionable
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@Book_Krazy: ME: [whispering]"Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: "um no. I have on pajamas"
@Dani_Feld: Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: *cries* Dr: Um, are you sexually- Me: *cries harder* Dr: .....Ok. Do you drink? Me: YES I BLOODY DRINK
@IamEveryDayPpl: Sometimes I pretend I'm picking up lunch for the office even tho the KFC workers can clearly see me eating that bucket in their parking lot.