@joeljeffrey: When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.
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@Miss_MI_Kay: If you ever really want someone to call back, leave them a message saying, "I've got tickets to..." and hang up
@sammyrhodes: There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
@CoatCzech: 1) My wife and I are fighting 2) My phone has an annoying ringtone whenever someone RTs me 3) My phone is in the room where she's sleeping