@ilovepie84: When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent.
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@simoncholland: I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep.
@ChipKellysBalls: Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.
@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.