@puffin7911: When I say to my kids "sit here and watch cartoons" they hear "come and bug me while I am trying to take naughty pictures for daddy."
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@Phook75: I've spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife's shirt to actually stay on this hanger
@DurtMcHurtt: I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon.
@juliussharpe: I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money.