@bridger_w: When I see a "How am I driving?" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence
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@theroneman: Clyde: I'm looking 4 a partner. What's ur name? "Bonnie" C: That ur real name? "Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker" C: ...Bonnie it is
@mstluvstrinkets: The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went.
@myles_morrison: Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like "that explains it."
@morebees: when someone says 'your flys down' it implies that 1) i have a fly and 2) hes having a bad day