@joeljeffrey: When I tickle my imaginary friend, people think Im casting spells
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'm keeping a greater distance behind this truck with a vanity plate that reads "IMTEXAN" than I do behind cars with "Baby on board" signs.
@GrowlyGrego: *knocks on door* You're too fat. "Wha--" You're way too dumb. "Wait--who.." Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.
@wickedsuga: Everyone needs that one friend that will promise to redraw your chalk outline to make you look skinnier.
@Scarlet_Rose67: Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect.