@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
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@withanewname: Wife: "Bad day?" Me: "Stupidhead boss treats me like a kid." Wife: "Now now *pats head* eat your nuggets before they get cold."
@E_lok44: [After date, walking her to her door] Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to.
@RandiLawson: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email
@DannyZuker: As my friend confessed, "My teenage daughter never even talks to me," I struggled to conceal my jealousy.