@bfrosty04: Just ran over my neighbors cat. In fairness, though, the damn thing probably thought he was safe when he made it to the porch.

@Terdoh: I typed "Cigarettes" in the search bar and it said "No Matches". The universe has spoken.

@Philosopherbing: Actual warning I saw in a pamphlet: "You may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth." Oh shit....

@MissNaughty1801: Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then

@JustHadOneJob: Have you ever been so upset you cried in Spanish.