@nerdreign: When I was 16, I thought I could slam and lock my bedroom door in the house my parents paid for. So they took my door. That's 80s parenting.
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@MyPornKhan: I'm guessing the person who decided how to spell "queue" and "okay" got paid by the letter.
@Ygrene: [First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I… (trying to impress her) …am a criminal
@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
@BillMc7: *goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*