@OutOnTheMoors: When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life.
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@maughammom: My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not.
@rockymomax: FLIGHT ATTENDANT: omg is anyone a doctor? ME: *stands up confidently and turns to flight attendant* you forgot my Diet Coke
@thepunningman: Airport Security: Please remove your shoes Man: Don't be ridiculous, I'm no terrorist AS: Sir, do you want to use the bouncy castle or not?