@OutOnTheMoors: When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UncleDuke1969: *goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper "WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?" *sighs *leaves
@jaslakhmna: ME to BF: "We need to talk about the future." BF: "what about it,you wanna talk about flying cars and robots and stuff?"
@qwertying: Airport Security: has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge, sir? Sir: How the hell am I supposed to answer that?
@robfee: Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?