@OutOnTheMoors: When I was 20, a stranger ran up to me in the street and said we should get a divorce. That set the tone of weirdness for my adult life.
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@AndyAsAdjective: the early bird gets the worm & so does this dance floor of unsuspecting wedding reception guests when my jam comes on
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resumé? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family.