@iGreenMonk: When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young!!
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@Avepates: Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself.
@bondgirl_79: Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick.
@Darlainky: You don't know true paranoia until you Google "How to tell if you're being spied on" and a photo of your living room comes up.