@CheryeDavis: When I was a kid I liked my Jack in the Box...But now I prefer my Jack in the Bottle.
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@RidiculousSheri: *me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa.
@PJTLynch: Announcer: "Welcome to the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show. Are you ready to rock?!" [crowd goes nuts] A: "Well too bad, here's Coldplay"
@3sunzzz: Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!