@jakefromstfarm3: When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy Story so that they knew I was on to them.
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@Parkerlawyer: Opposing counsel licks his thumb every time he turns a page in his file and basically I didn't even know this rage inside me existed.
@InsouciantMan: Wife sees me naked at least once a day every day. How do you apologize properly for something like that?
@TheDairylandDon: No matter how many shocking surprises life throws at you, you're never quite prepared to hear a British person pronounce the word "vitamin"