@kumailn: When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
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@breadzeppellin: My wife and I had a real Fairytale wedding. A wolf killed her grandma during the ceremony and then we ate stolen porridge from some bears.
@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@Tmoney68: *Tries new coffee with 300% more caffeine* "It's okay. Can't feel a difference." [5 minutes later] *Throws refrigerator out window*