@N0pantz: When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: STOP ACTING LIKE THIS GROCERY STORE GIFT CARD ISN'T ROMANTIC. WHO DOESN'T LIKE FOOD?
@UncleDuke1969: "Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "I said... Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "Ted?" "THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."