@slimmy_shady: When I was having an affair with twins, people used to ask how I told them apart. Well, Sue had brown eyes and Steve had a moustache.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Clown 2: Sorry man. You got outvoted by us, 42-1. We want to listen to ICP Clown 1: My VW Bug. I'm driving the carpool. It's Streisand.
@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: So I see you majored in communication? ME: No…miscommunication BOSS: Your resume clearly says communication ME: See?